Fruits of the Spirit

Galena was my helper for tonight’s milking and she, like all my helpers, has the strange view that milking the goats is an experience that should be finished and done as quickly as possible so that one’s precious time should not be wasted. Yeah, right. As if anything is more important than milking goats. But anyway, as usual Galena had succumbed to this mood upon entering the barn and, just when I had finished milking #2 and was standing by as the beautiful ebony creature daintily finished her last bits of grain, Galena uttered these words…

“Hurry up you stinky goat!”

By now used to Galena’s strange enthusiasms, I decided to humor her and followed up with a swat on the goat’s rump and…

“Yeah! Hurry up you stinky goat!”

Obviously not wanting to quarrel with two lunatics, Josephine elegantly lifted her head up out of the stanchion and turned herself 180 degrees to face me and Galena At such close range I was easily able to detect the gleam of cunning in her eyes and, not wishing to invoke her wrath upon myself, I embraced her and planted a kiss upon her nose while saying…

“Mmm! I love you baby!”

(For your information I call all of my goats “baby”. That particular form of endearment subtly suggests to them that they are completely dependent upon me thus keeping them from becoming too cocky.)

However, Galena, having not noticed that cunning gleam in Josephine’s eye, was not impressed.

“Humph,” said she, “You look like two peas in a pod!”

Not wishing to insult the goat’s beauty by this comparison I immediately responded in a remorseful tone…

“Yeah…except my ears aren’t as long…”

Midway in my sentence I was electrified by a loud shriek.

“OWWW!”

Josephine made her escape outside and Galena was left to nurse her trodden down toes.